Dimensions

There was a space between here and there
I tried my best to fit inside
Nothing happened, it never does
I swam around my indecision
Swallowed me in
And wondered how and when
I began to lose myself
With each passing sundown
Melting away my reflection
As I continued this path
Have I forgotten the way
Took a wrong turn, a misstep, a side show
Languishing in broad emotions
Not meant to last
Not meant to be the all in all
Yet, somehow I find myself surrounded by this invisible barrier
Bounded by what appears to be nonsense
Of my own making
Voices and expectations speak out from the abyss
I know it’s a lie
But I find myself hopelessly sinking
And like a puppet follow the string …

(1.25.08)

Mysterious

open my hands and nothing
I listen, to no avail
it's quiet here on the edge of the universe
surreal in fact as I peer beyond the next horizon
footsteps closer than before, ever closer
I am drenched in this mystical rainstorm
my umbrella flew and I stand
transfixed
as the shadow approaches
what to do,
arms on my shoulder as I am lifted
his coat, warm
comforting
we turn toward the portal
the hallway is vast,
is this an angel
or have I forgotten how to dream …
(1.25.08)

Memories

I remember you
With your mega-watt smile that could light up the skies
without even trying
A body that would make even Adonis run and hide
Charisma that exuded from every pore
How could I blame others for being drawn so eagerly
No one could resist your charms and out right sexy ways

Your blue eyes taunted like an angry sea on a winter's day
Your hair, the color of the golden sun,
One look from you is all it took
You were the ultimate
My everything,
At least that's what I thought at first
And struggled to believe ...

How could I have known of your dark side?
I wish I knew somehow what I didn't know then
I would have run
Broke your gaze
But like a fool, I stayed
Seven years too long,
Much to my own chagrin
I must now confess ...

I wonder how we would have ended up
Had I stayed
If things were different
If you were for real
and meant what you said...

Questions without answers
Answers without asking
Thanks for the memories,
I think ....

(1.24.08)

After Thoughts

the lies on the back of her hand told me everything
as I listened to your impotent attempts to explain
flimsy,
flaccid ...

I watched as the words were never given their proper exit
half-witted
they died on your tongue and fell flat,
you can do better than that if you tried
I've seen it before
I was amazed, once
in some other universe
the one filled with trust
now empty,
with the occasional expulsion...

they sound more like after thoughts to me
guess you think I'm not aware
not that it registers
I don't know
why you simply don't bother
don't take the time like you used to
I feel her every time we speak

life chugs on
shake, rattle and roll
snake eyes,
freed from your narcissistic abjection ...
(1.21.08)

Tales of the Footpath

intriguing footpath there by the ocean
laying next to that bleached blaze of sand
I've watched as your fears dropped discretely
then roll to the side, jumping behind some disengaged rock
no one scurries when the palms begin their slumber
tipping their hats as the seagulls glide past
their songs and dinner in tow

tell me, what stories can you spare
of those who travel above and around
skipping lightly or scuffling slow
tell us today as we gather to hear
the tales from your well worn abode

were some excited to see those great waters
churning provocatively like a dark, sultry vixen
teasing the senses with that suggestive glimmer
of turquoise splashing between quick peeks of white

the footpath thought for a moment or two
then, sighed with a great release
come back tomorrow or later today
for now, I just need to think ...

(1.10.08)

Fields

lay me across that field of lights
gently, as I am weak
memories stir and begin to fade
caught away in a serenade trapped by darkness
all desire recedes,
I am left with silence, deafening
nothing,
no in between

learn to be
for the first time in a long time

lose the resistance
of inconvenient turns and twists
how they mar the soul,
follow along this stream
of new consciousness
aware
behold, the key ...

(1.5.08)

Little Red Coat

Thrown out with the rest of the trash
Unceremoniously,
Left on the sidewalk
Smashed inside some old broken down black bag
Up against the drain
For the next pick-up day, whenever …

What would you say if you could speak?
Any last words for us as you lay there?

Don't get the wrong idea by the way I appear
You see a,
Tattered red coat, rumpled and torn
Threadbare along the edges,
With buttons lose and some frayed bits of fleece ...

I remember a time when I was brand new and warm

With eyes of surprise and arms opened wide
My little girl smiled as she held me close
Excitedly,
And slipped her tiny arms into mine,
Our walks to the playground, rides on the bike
We had a blast, her and I
Little girl giggles pressed close inside my shoulder
Little girl secrets only her and I shared
Oh! Those were the days!
When laughter filled these threads now bare
And I did my best to keep her safe
With my buttons, shiny and bold
And my collar, so warm and so very cozy
Snuggling next to those little girl cheeks
I was once fulfilled, loved and adored …

I guess all things come to an end, somehow
Don't ask me to explain as I have no answers
My little girl grew, yet I remained the same
No worse for wear was my mantra...

One day, a voice said
That little red coat is a disaster, dear
Time for another, we'll throw out that old thing
Get you a new one for spring
And the next thing you know, I found myself here
In this bag full of rubbish and long forgotten dreams …

(1.11.08)

Illusions and Things

I think you like to keep me guessing
throw me a line and I dive right in
like always
searching for the bait on the end of the hook
running for the first thing that looks like affection
feels more like rejection
this cat and mouse game
one day I'm soaring above heaven's door
the next, nowhere
it's the same old song
same old dream
you'd think by now, I'd be a bit wiser
having noticed these sign posts before
but I keep hoping, I guess
pressing my way
the truth is too harsh to bear
I simply look the other way
although I've known it all along
and I won't say it here
except to acknowledge
I understand
always have
these delusions in spite of illusions ....

(1.17.08)

Willow Weep

I have stood on the outside looking in
For as long as I can remember
An observer of all I see
Listened intently, painfully aware
Of your deep rooted sadness and unrealized fears

There on your pillow as you lay your head
Surrounded by tears, never heard
By others as they carried on
Oblivious …

How I longed to hold you close
Protect you with the strength of my limbs
Remove the strain from your fragile and sensitive frame
A shade I provided when you ran out
That fateful afternoon
Slamming doors as you stumbled and finally sat
For hours if not longer
We were quiet that day, you and I …

On a dark night somewhere near the fifth of December
A shot rang out, piercing the silence like an old rusty nail
Muffled cries and then nothing
Suddenly everyone was everywhere
Except in your room
I struggled to find you, to get even a glimpse
I reached ever higher
You were silent for what seemed like winter …

Footsteps scurried in and out
Frantic cries for help flew with the wind's scream
Blue lights and red lights filled the front lawn
Men in blue uniforms ran inside
Shadows in black cars drove slowly and carefully away
Somewhere, a lonely dog howled
The moon turned aside
And I,
The willow, weep by that window
You once called your own …

(01/15/2008)