aflame again

and if it were you
you and you alone
all along,
the one I knew would be the answer
our solution,
to everything we both needed and desired
from this point forward,
would you
venture near?
again
this time,
knowing it was me?

(ajs.8.28.08)

My Choice

I see your face in every face
out there in the sea of flesh and vague imaginings,
I hear your voice in my head telling me
reminding me
of all and nothing,
simple clues, so true
and this love I have spans time,
knows no boundaries and yet
I am here
without you.
why?
I must be scatterbrained ...

I watch and observe
and see them,
hand in hand, arm in arm
everywhere
and yet
I am alone,
the chatter comes and finds me
laying flowers at my feet,
I turn and walk the other way
past those kisses transmitting,
nothing compares to me and you
never could.
and that's what keeps me far from trying
memories
feelings
my desire for only you still stands
tall
how could I?

(ajs.8.23.08)

Intermission

For a brief interlude we managed
To canopy the sunshine, pull on the splendor
Laughing all the while,
Slide across the undertaking
Peering beside your smile
Time stopped and it mattered not…

The siren of recycled impossibilities reached inside
And poured out from a vial,
Tenderly, yet spitefully
Spectacular flowing red,
Caught up in the glow
You stumbled and I wondered why.
The red had me transfixed
I could not turn away,
Beating profusely from the center
My spine jumped
Remembering,
What were those drops of red?
Little sparks, brand new parts
Blending around this rising mound

We pushed again toward the spotlight
Pressed through silent tears and creeping fears
Ascending our perimeter,
Threatening to capsize
Waiting to overthrow everything,
And reveal a great conceal
Under the contents of this smudge …

(ajs.8.21.08)

Untitled

Having wrestled with the sins of summer
I should have known the signs
Listened to that other mind
The one we turn away on days like that,
The snowman rolled and spoke
Sweet sounds fell from his lips of twist
I should have walked away,
Enchanted, I chose to stay and hear one more delicious remedy
Feel one more sensational rhapsody,
Before the dreaded epiphany
I knew and still I craved,
As I laid those song sheets down
Heard before this day would turn
As the ground swell fell away,
Dropped along the beaten path
The well-worn rasp
Of listen, fool
Be wise,
Wake up, it’s dinner-time,
And with those sheets still out to dry
When did you try blind?
This is no time for such crazy thoughts
Cleverly, or otherwise …

(8.18.08.ajs)

River Burns

Are you the response to this river that leads
Out,
Away from the trash in the trees
You know the ones we can’t see for the logs,
Around the fireplace
Steps to the kitchen
Locks on the door
Lead me to where you want us to be …

Take my hand and give me your kiss
Hold me closer than you ever dreamed.
A bright light of promise I perceive
Excitement shelved right behind my eyelids
Waiting here,
Do you feel this like I do?

You lay across my mind
Each time with a memory of another day or evening’s dimly disguised blushing,
Sharing the shadows
Wrapped around the thought of maybe again, with you
Walking with the knowledge of how I want to
Craving the courage ...

(8.16.08.ajs)

Always

With you, I could feel amorous
Enamored and more if not careful,
Yet careful is not where I want to be
Not with you,
Impassioned is how you come to me
Ardent and delicious
How we would drive delirious,
Rousing romantic hysteria …
Zealous for fire, wild about flames
You and I, we would never contain
The passion and fire
Never,
Ever …

(8.14.08/ajs)

Mysteries

with you, I believe I could begin again
realize within this spark that flames
for one,
is it you
this man of whom I am so curious
intrigued, no less

I feel your hugs
your life and loves,
they pour over me each time we discuss
I sense your pain and tenderness
and want to reach

dare I, this time
press beyond my comfort zone
engage with your world,
enter your realm
and know you ...

(8.12.08.aj)

Wants, Not Needs

what I want to say is something completely dissimilar
more than you're willing to hear
your willing to receive
what I'm ready to give,
and yet, this place we find ourselves
is no different than some bazillion times before
this day,
this moment
this space ...

it's so astounding to finally meet another
who gets me,
this rare synergy
full of anything conceivable
walking in wonder was my reality
every time we met
every time we connected
and yet, it was me who hesitated
too long,
pulled back
stepped down
and slithered away like the fool I can be
ran to the corner where I thought I was safe
believed I could wait
and wait, I did
to my own chagrin

as I stand here, alone
my choice
my choosing
writing these words, great swelling words
full of melodramatics,
safe in the arms of my shadow
unscathed,
away from all remnants of misdirected blame,
at least that's what I tell myself
that's what I try to believe …

(8.11.08/ajs)

Chances

why, tell me why
where did you go
the you and the other who promised?
when I'm not looking, the chatter increases
to levels of laughter, insane almost, if left near a bus stop
and yet, quite contrived whenever I appear
is that my paranoia again,
or something more sinister, creeping within?
I'm betting on neither as neither is real
perception is what you believe
and I'm thinking I'll pass on this round,
maybe the next few if this trend continues ...

the swelling of the hope willed promises
anytime we stopped to share, to sizzle a little
our days, our thoughts, our aspirations
I began to feel again
began to need a friend
and believe,
we breathed in the silliness
with satisfied sips,
grandiose hiccups
had us skipping on simmer right through that hard, wooden door

is this an echo, or something more
than some tantalizing mind sweep,
across the canvas of dreamy eye lids
close them and see
splashed in hues of begin again
these tender scenes
make them stay,
keep them real...


(8.5.08.ajs)