We can no more deny this reality
Than to shout down the stars from their heavenly posts
As they look from above and concede,
Yet, here we are for all to see
Continuing to fumble with such eloquent words,
We're not fooling anyone, of this I am certain
With this talk of anything, but...
Our plans for the future and how we get busy
We keep running away from the truth,
But why?
Is it simply that, or maybe just
In all of our grandeur and get focused schemes,
Why do we keep running from us?
If we look deep inside to ponder this path,
Well aware there's some pain that somewhat remains,
The truth is, we're more than just a little bit scared ...
Tell me, how long can we keep looking
At anything other than what is,
Genuine, though the container be flawed,
Cracks in the ceiling, frogs in the dark
Desire still radiant, still patiently waiting
Burning for that mid-summer's release...
I have loved you forever, don't you see?
Stand I at the door and peek in,
Just one more time, I need to feel your touch
Feel you all through my parched and aching soul,
Now there, I've said it,
Watch those thunderbolts soar!
I can only get so close and no further,
If it takes all of time to stand next to your fire
I will be here, this side of forever ...
by: alisajs
3 comments:
I’m captivated by this love poem written in free verse. The poem has a natural smooth flow to it that moves the content along a rhythmic cadence. This cadence is greatly enhanced by the effective use of the enjambment, and some of the many other forms of poetic devices used in the poem. Word usage in the poem is fantastic for it puts special effects on the message for clearer elucidation for example:
“Tell me, how long can we keep looking
At anything other than what is,
Genuine, though the container be flawed,
Cracks in the ceiling, frogs in the dark
Desire still radiant, still
patiently waiting
Burning for that mid-summer's release...”
The presentation of the poem is reader friendly, as it somehow tells the reader, come right in make your self comfortable for the persona is about let you into her innermost feelings. I found the persona’s tone to be pleasant and soft spoken but full of hurt and dismay.
From my vantage point what I ‘m understanding is that the persona is deeply in love, “I have loved you forever, don't you see”? but her love for him is like water thrown on a duck’s back as far as his feeling for her goes. He is definitely a “cool fish” from the way I see the sort of things that are being played out in this poem as it deals with one of the many faces of love/romance and dating. I can truly relate to the plot of this poem because it is not far fetch from what we see happening among lovers in contemporary society. Far too many cases out there from which one can make reference. So in a real way this poem has universal appeal.
There is much emotional feel pouring out of this poem. The persona laments because as she knows for sure, her love is “forever” and the object of her affections knows it yet still sits on his laurels, oblivious of her feelings. Is he pretending! If so, then he is an a**. Like they say, you can bring the horse to the well but that does not guarantee the horse will drink... lol! Look how this poem has got me carrying one...”is only a poem don’t get so dramatic”, that’s what my sister said to me from across the room. Anyways, to bring a long story short, the persona is stymied due to the fact that her love for him is not returned in equal measure; nevertheless, she is committed to it. Thus she asserts that there is a clear distinction drawn between love and infatuation. Obviously the desire of her heart is infatuated with her but her love is a durable kind, the forever love. So that is why there is this tangled web between them. Oh, this is so sad but provided pleasurable reading on an aspect of life realities. Thank you very much for sharing your artistry so well.
(Paterika)
Thank you, my kind friend.. you are as always so very perceptive and spot on! as they say in Australia...
This one is written from my soul and yes, I do love him... yet, he dangles and lingers at the edge of the truth. As time goes on, I am beginning to realize so sadly what I thought was the ultimate was not mutual, not in the forever way I knew and we both discussed for hours and hours...
But then again, it is life.. and I do agree, it is better to have loved...and lost, than to have never loved at all... thank you again for your friendship.. it means the world to me.. aloha..;-)
Review:
Most excellent my friend, now THIS is what I'd like to see in a book, some of the best poetry I'm reading these days are from you! Some awesome work with free verse and what it has to give, the flow is magnificent, better yet the storyline is patiently waiting... burning for that mid-summer's release... yeayah!! this poem seeks release my friend, to be released into that forever sense, a great one, awesome!! there was 2 things in this poem i'd change in my opinion, in your first line "We can no (longer) deny this reality" instead of -more- perhaps, and this line... "Stand I at the door and peek in" maybe switch the words "I stand", I feel this would be good for fluidity perhaps, up to you, it's a truely beautiful piece of poetry, awesome done!!
by Vroom
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